Divorce happens. With the amount of pressure people are under, it seems to be happening a bit more these days. The adults' own feelings about the divorce are a big enough of an undertaking, but what and when to tell your children is an important component to consider.
Just like when communicating with children about other big events in life (illness in the family, moving, new sibling), it is important to remember a few things:
1) Keep the content age appropriate. Use words that are typical for that child's everyday language.
2) Answer questions honestly, even if the answer if "I don't know, but I know you'll be ok."
3) Tell children in different age groups separately to attend effectively to their varying needs.
4) Practice aloud in your car or someplace private so that you can be as clear and calm as possible when speaking to your children.
5) Avoid language that might put your child in the middle.
For more tips, here is a great introductory article in Family Education.
If needed, be sure to enlist the help of a qualified professional in your area to support you or your children. With the school year coming up, be sure to inform teachers and school social workers so they can look out for your children during the day. This is a big change for everybody involved. Be sure to take good care and access any resources you need.
Be well,
Rebecca
