Let me preface this post by saying that "stress" can take on a variety of meanings. How we experience stress largely has to do with the nature of the stressor and our own personalities.
In 1967, psychiatrists Holmes & Rahe set out to study the relationship between stress and illness. They surveyed 5,000 people and asked if they had experienced any of a list life events in the previous two years. Through the study, they were able to rank stressful life events from most stressful to the least. Here is what they came up with from most stressful to least:
- Death of Spouse
- Divorce
- Marital Separation
- Jail term
- Death of close family member
- Personal injury, illness (I add chronic pain to this one)
- Marriage
- Fired at work
- Marital reconciliation
- Retirement
- Change in health of family member
- Pregnancy
- Sex difficulties
- Gain of new family member
- Business readjustment
- Change in financial state
- Death of close friend
- Change to a different line of work
- Change in number of arguments with spouse
- A large mortgage or loan
- Foreclosure of mortgage
- Change in responsibilities at work
- Son or daughter leaving home
- Trouble with in-laws
- Outstanding personal achievement
- Spouse begins or stops work
- Begin or end school/college
- Change in living conditions
- Revision of personal habits
- Trouble with boss
- Change in work hours
- Change in residence
- Change in school/college
- Change in recreation
- Change in church activities
- A moderate loan or mortgage
- Change in sleeping habits
- Change in number of family get-togethers
- Change in eating habits
- Vacation
- Christmas
- Minor violation of law
If you take a quick scan of this list, you may be surprised that positive events such as getting married, conceiving or retirement are near the top of the list. Why? Because even joyous occasions such as getting married, an outstanding personal achievement, or promotion create change in our daily routines. When our daily routine are altered by even something wonderful, we may become busier with all of the exciting things that are happening, we may be spending more money, we may be busier with preparations. The theme here is change.
The other note about this list, is that people are multi-faceted. When we take a look at ourselves from a holistic point of view, it makes sense that one event would effect the overall balance in our lives. For example, chronic pain as a "stressful event" could effect sleeping habits, change in recreation, etc. Change in responsibilities at work could create difficulties in change in recreation, change in work hours, etc.
How can this list be helpful?
Sometimes when overwhelmed, it can help to break it down, to see the trickling effect of how one main event can impact our lives. The fact that positive changes are listed also lend some validation to otherwise confusing emotions such as "I've just gotten a promotion, so why am I so stressed?" or "My kids are finally out of the house, so why am I miserable?"
Use the list to help get perspective on stress. This act of kindness may go a long way to de-stressing.
Be well,
Rebecca
